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Not-so-frequently asked questions


Real questions that real people (children and adults) have asked me.


What’s the South Pole called?



What language do they speak in Scotland?

That would be Scottish.

Do you speak Scottish?

Och, aye.


Where’s the Great Wall of China?

Depends where you’re standing.


Do you drink because you’re responsured, or do you just like the taste?

I am a very responsured person.


Will you still mark my essay if I don’t read the textbook?

Of course I’ll mark your essay. I just won’t read it.


If everyone ate meat 20,000 years ago, how did vegetarians survive?

Vegetarians hadn’t been invented yet.


If economics is the dismal science, does that mean economists are dismal people?

I like your logic.


And my favourite…

Is the baby camel going to be born out of the mother camel’s nostril?

Well, let’s consider this for a moment. Do you think it’s likely?

…No, probably not.

There you go then.

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